Diary of a Stranger

Mercredi 31 octobre 2012 à 12:59

I think I totally lost my mind. I can't tell if I'm being spontaneous/adventurous or desperate. Me and RH are still talking. It's like I finally find someone to talk to since J. stop talking to me being too busy with his Harvard life and new friends. I decided, why not meet him up and his friends somewhere during their roadtrip? That whole conversation started off when he asked me to come to Vegas as we were talking. Well, I would have gone actually, if I wasn't working tomorrow night. But even if I wasn't working, he would be on the road again by the time I get there. So I asked him the next stops. Yosemite on Thursday, then San Francisco Friday until Sunday morning, then diner with them and J in downtown LA after the Lakers game. Well I have off Thursday, and I am scheduled to work on Friday night, then Saturday and Sunday in the morning. So when could I meet them? I think I can talk my way out of working Friday since the other hostess works, and since I have covered some of her shift before, I am going to ask her to cover mine on Saturday morning. I am gonna ask the manager and the hostess since they will both be there tomorrow. If I get Friday and Saturday off, I could leave on Thursday and stay in San Jose to see my aunt and spend the night there, and drive to San Francisco the next day to see him, and my uncle there before heading back to LA Saturday afternoon. 
Does this seem completely out of place and crazy? Totally. 
But what do I have to lose? We both know we'll never see each other again. 
Taking the example of HK again with RP, it took me until the last week to get with him because I was trying so hard not to care about anyone.
But lesson learn, I don't care about what happens next, seize the day and live your life to the fullest. Who cares if I care too much about him and it hurts afterwards? As long as I am happy while we spent time together. 

In the back of my mind, I think that maybe he's as full of shit as the other guys I dated. But even if he is, the good thing is that I will never find out since he's leaving to soon to ever figure it out. So let's go for it! 

Now, I just have to cross my fingers and hope that they will let me get out of work. 

Mardi 30 octobre 2012 à 8:54

The Spanish boys just left the Grand Canyon this morning to go to Las Vegas. Tonight they're heading to the XS club to see Afrojack djing. Well I hope nothing bad happens to them, my cousin went up there last weekend and almost got stabbed getting in fight with some guy(well he did end up with a few cuts). Anyways, my spanish one, RH, sends me messages on whatsapp everytime he gets wifi. Cute. His English level is not really good, which makes his texts even cuter. On top of the little nerdy things he has about him. Just the facts that he doesn't drink, do drugs, or smoke, and eat healthy...all of this is just so unusual in comparison to all the guy I usually go for. It almost makes me feel bad about myself. "Hey I got drunk a couple times I wish I would forget, then I was high two days before I met you, and I smoke a pack a day, and I like junk food, and I slept with a guy two days before I met you" I am like the perfect match for you! *sarcasm* 
I like him, he's the opposite of A, and a breeze of fresh air compare to all those LA rich jerks. 
He wants me to visit him in Spain. Well if I had money, or time, I would probably go to HK first, or France, before going to Spain. 

I don't know I'm just really confused on how I feel. I usually don't get jealous. But Vegas has the best clubs, the best music and the hottest girls, I mean the perfect place to party all night and bring someone home. I told him "have fun" when he was heading out for XS.Damn I hope he doesn't have too much fun!
We're suppose to eat diner together Sunday and hang out on Monday until he goes to the airport and I don't want those plans to change. That sounds like the same ending as HK. Finding a good guy and leaving him behind, or him leaving you. That happened to me so many times. Leaving those unfinished stories, never knowing how it would turn out if we had stayed in the same city. Reminds me the way I left Rp. Those situations always end up messing with your head. I always asked myself how things would have turned out if I had stayed in HK, would I still be with him or would he have gone for the Elite eastern european model anyway? If I had come back would we have gotten back together? Unfortunately those questions will be left unanswered. 
Hong Kong is too far, and so is Spain. So next week, we'll be back to zero, and start over again.

At least, it's good to know that I am not as cold hearted as I thought. I still have a soul, I can still feel ha.
A picture I took on the hiking trails. View of L.A from Runyon Canyons. 

Lundi 29 octobre 2012 à 4:22

 Crap, my friend just told me Apl was legally blind. He has a condition called nystagmus. 

I just thought he was on drugs that day because he was so touchy and took so much time putting his number in my phone. 
So I left him. Well now I feel really bad. The guy could barely see anything and I was laughing. I went on wikipedia after my friend told me that. Well, he confirmed it to people's magazine. I started reading about his life on there. His father abandoned him at birth, one of his brother was murdered, the other one killed himself. Now I bet no matter how rich, successful and internationally famous he is, won't replace all the pain inside. I wouldn't trade my life for his. I keep hearing the black eyed peas on the radio all the time, and think about that. 

And I just thought he was some stupid drug addict celebrity. Now I am more intrigued into knowing him outside of the clubs, as a friend. See who he really is. 
Maybe I should text him. See if he even remembers me. It's been a week and a half now. And I was such a bitch to him. Damn. Way to go C. 

Lundi 29 octobre 2012 à 3:45

 I don't even know where to start... This is what happened when I don't write everyday. 

Last Thursday was an awful day at work once again. There was some typos and mispelling on the take out menu I designed, and nobody checked behind me before printing a 1000 copies of it. Well, half of the mistakes were mine, but also half of them came from the menu I copy paste from an email that was written by the Chef. I was so mad to take the blame for all of it, I wanted to quit. Anyway I am an underpaid graphic designer right now so that money lost was well worth the money I should have been paid. I had to go back to West Hollywood to go get my computer at home then back to Silverlake right in rush hours. God I hate driving in Los Angeles. On top of that, one of the cooks of the restaurant got my number from the office or somewhere, and won't stop texting me. It's like being harassed from all sides, I ignored him all day. Anyways, I was about to cry I was so mad at him, at my manager, and at the owners. Don't treat me like I'm dumb when I got a college degree, get recommended by teacher who have their phd from MIT , and friends at harvard. I swear it pisses me off when they feel superior to you.
But I calmed down, thinking I would see A. right when I get off work and I didn't want to look all upset when he comes. 

I got off work, and A texted me. He lives literally three blocks away from my place. So by the time I got here, I only got 10 min for myself before he arrived at the apartment. I was surprised he actually showed up. My roomate told me she would stay in her bedroom so we could spend some time alone with him. But I wanted to introduce her to him. Well he asked her to come join us. So we all hung out and he rolled up some joints we all shared. Who would say no to getting high on california good quality grass. I have no idea why he was so obsess with the idea of finding a guy for my roomate. "Moi j'ai ma copine la avec moi, faut que je te trouves un copain". So he brought this guy that looks like Michael Vendetta. Definitely not her type. She spoke to him on the phone told him not to come, and he still showed ha. On the reason that he wanted to have fun with me (=sleeping with me) while he distract her. Well, she was in her bedroom and you called her to come hang out with us, it would have been simpler to just let her stay in her room. Anyways she was texting R this entire time. He was arguing with her that girl were too complicated "oh les filles veulent toujours se faire desirer, tu reflechis, trop, tu vois avec moi et C (me) on a pas d'ambiguite" Well yeah you just straight up said I was your booty call thanks. Later, when I went to the bathroom and came out he wasn't with them. I asked them where he was, he was in my bedroom. I came he was just laying in my bed. I guess it's pretty straightforward. We just had sex, and when we were done, he just dressed up and we came back to the living room. So romantic. He didn't even spend the night, they both left 10 min later. 
That's when I realized he was obviously not gonna be any boyfriend material ever and not as interesting as I thought. That day I just classified him in my "friends with benefits" category. The guy you can hang out with and sleep with when in need but not anything else. Not that I even cared that's fine. I rather have a friends with benefits than multiple one night stand. And now I don't obsess and think about him so much. 
Anyways, he told us about some Rave Party at USC at the beginning of November. I might come out sounds like fun. 

Back to work once again. Nothing special really. I opened up to the other hostess about my personal life and so did she. Our lives are completely different she has been in a relationship for 5 years... I just had an unstable life for five years and multiple failure at relationship ha. The lesbian promoter got involved in our conversation as well, giving me tips on how to control my booty call. Wow haha. Sucks she start talking about it when the cute DJ of the event that night was right next to us. He stopped looking at me after hearing all of it. Oh well. 
As much as I hate half of the staff and the crazy disorganization, I start to appreciate some of the people I work with. The other hostess is nice. And so are the bartenders. Malcolm, the new bartender, got a few hours off before working for the event. I was starving as always because I couldn't get off before 11pm. He asked me what I wanted for diner. He came back with the food I asked. I was so happy and gave out a huge smile. I asked him how much money I owed him, and he kindly responded "With that smile, you don't owe me anything" and just hand me the food. Some people are genuinely nice. 

Malcolm was there with the other new bartender. I was talking to F next to the bar and Malcolm served me a coke, just like yesterday. F gave me a weird comment in french in front of them "Oh I see you got your ways with the bartenders, they're doing everything for you" Jealous much?! 
Malcolm was done with his shift and left. The other bartender (whom i forgot the name) came to talk to me and was really nice too. 
The friendly staff makes my day a little easier. The suck part is that I was the only hostess on a Saturday night. The other one ditched me, probably so she can go to the Halloween parties while I work... 
Some rnb/rap party was taking place that night at our restaurant/lounge around 10pm. I swear Halloween is just an excuse to look like a slut for girls. 
But good thing I get along with everyone, so the two girls selling the tickets and couples guys working at the events were nice with me. Nobody hates asian really. It's always a problem between black/white. 

By the time I got home I didn't come out to Hollywood until midnight. Pretty much the end of the night since everything close at 2am. Everything was too packed or had a cover charge, so we gave up and start walking to bars. On the street, we met this group of Spanish guys, who asked up where they could go etc. So we told them they could come with us, that we were just heading to bars.
I started talking to one of them, pretty cute, nice, and also they one who spoke English the best. He had been in L.A for a month, studying English and his friends were visiting him. An electrical engineer. Too bad they were leaving the next day on a roadtrip, then going back to Spain.

I invited them to my place with J after the bar closed. This night turned out unexpected once again. J liked one of them, and I was with another one. The two other guys left were so drunk they ended up passing out on my couches. I didn't know what to do I start opening up one of the sofa so they could sleep. I didn't expect them to spend the night. Eventually they all fell asleep and me and my guy remained awake on one of the couch and started kissing. I was tired so we just slept on my bed. Well had sex eventually. But unlike A., he was more cute about it. The only difference is that I guess he was so nervous that it wasn't that great. But he was cute about it let me sleep against him afterwards. Three hours later he had to wake up and drive to the Grand Canyon. Harsh. He got dressed very quickly and kissed me good morning and went in the living room to wake up his friends. I came out afterwards. He kissed me again in front of his friends. Cute. I came down with them to take back the parking guest permit, and he walked the whole way with me his arms wrapped around me while the others were following behind us. 

They are coming back next Sunday. J and I talked with them already about a diner on their last night Sunday, after they are done watching the Lakers Games and leave the next morning back to Spain. Of course when I meet a nice guy he has to leave. It was a fun night though I don't regret anything. Although I did sleep with two different guys in three days.

Yes I was a bunny for Halloween, just because I only had an hour to shop and no money. What can I say. Me and the cute Spanish boy. 
Haha and yes my face will remain anonymous, just like my name. 

Jeudi 25 octobre 2012 à 23:48

I kinda oversleep on purpose yesterday, and miss my lunch with my manager. I oversleep so much that I got there 15 min late. Turning down a date and coming late, he's really gonna fire me. I guess I wanted him to. He was more mean and calling me out on everything that I wasn't doing correctly. I guess I should have gone to that lunch.

I am crossing my fingers and hoping I get the assistant designer job with that small firm two blocks away from my place.
There was 8 of us being interviewed last saturday 30min each back to back. One guy before me, one guy after me, all looking professional. I bet I was the youngest, fresh out of school. I need that job so badly, my roomate said she would be glad to be the first one to announce to my manager I am quitting if I get the job. I can't take it anymore. I mean that two hours meeting was so pointless, because they're multiple events all week all over again. And again, they are all about making money so they refused to close dining to customer. So tonight is gonna be a mess.

Last night I went out with my roomate. Got diner at the mexican restaurant nearby and split a pitcher of frozen margaritas.
I texted hope and she texted B and R. Well we all met them at Hyde eventually. First time I have trouble getting in a club, and it happens to be a cold windy night. I was so upset I forgot how it was like to be treated like shit by the bouncers and all the people working at the door. R told us Kent was in there, his friend who had a table last week, and he would take care of us.
Hope and his friends came by without Apl, of course as he is out of town.
What a shit night, we didn't even know who to talk to.
B eventually got the manager to get him in, and got us in as well. We left hope outside. Oh well, sorry but none of you are really my friends, and I'm cold.
So I went in. They ended up going to Supper Club instead.

Well, first of all, I hate this club, it's so small and it was completely packed. I couldn't believe I waited in line for that. I didn't even like the music.
.And we saw Kent he didn't even recognize us. I swear that guy is probably so drugged up/high/drunk and party every night that he can't recall anyone he meets. Got drinks ourselves, then B somehow got those guys from another table to get us more drinks. 
I don't even think I can drink anymore grey goose vodka it's starting to make me nauseous. But I was so bored, and it was already too late to go to another club so I kept drinking.
I was getting so bored, didn't see anyone I wanted to talk to, while my roomate was busy talking with B.
I swear I don't even care and don't take down anyone's number. She got lucky she' the only one who takes number worth calling.
What am i gonna do, text Apl? Nah
So who did I drunk text out of misery last night? A. Oh yes the first guy I met when I went out in Hollywood when I came to visit J. and met him in front of Supper club. Also the first guy I slept with in L.A.  I told him pretty much to fuck off two weeks ago because he kept saying we would see each other then blew me off or ignore my text. Well I guess I lose all dignity when I am not sober.

But I still think that frenchy is the most interesting guy I met so far no matter how much of a jerk he is. And he's attractive. I texted him asking him to set up a place and time and show up.And that he could come to my place if he doesn't ditch me. Well he answered my text in the morning. Said 9 tonight at my place. Except I am working all night for those events. So 11pm at my place...Hopefully i'll make it on time I feel like he's gonna get there before I do. Which suck I wish I had couple glass of wine before he shows up. And I havent't figure out how to handle this with my roomate being here.

Let's see what happens tonight...

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