Diary of a Stranger

Mercredi 28 novembre 2012 à 6:00 from the youtube video which I won't tell you about because
my diaryis still anonymous and save me the embarrassement 
Well that night was very odd. What's really funny is that I was wondering if I should contact A and I ended up running into him at Phoenix with J. N, Sam's roomate, was there and ask him to join him at his table outside, and here he was. He acted so awkwardly and left a few minutes after we sat. 
Allright I guess, I know we haven't called each other since he hooked up at my house, but don't have to act so weird about it. While we were hanging out with the group, apl texted me to go to the bowling alley in Hollywood. Since things were so awkward with the rest of the group, we decided to head for Hollywood and meet him and his friends. Again he was with Damien/Ammo, Half Sheen and Hope, whom I met at the after party last time. He got us shoes so we could play bowling at the same time as getting us drinks and shots. I was really surprised, I never thought he would invite me bowling I expected him to invite me to some fancy bar or some club. That was a nice change from what I have been doing lately and we really had fun. It was nice to have a low key night, although people would stare at us and some would come up to our lane to talk to Apl. I didn't want Apl to think of me as a gold digger so I went to the bar to get some drinks with J and pay for it. The waitress kept insisting on putting the drinks on his tab. The worst is that he didn't even notice that I did it. It was so expensive for us. When our game was done, they decided to take us to a club nearby.
What was originally a low key night turned into a paparazzi night. Two paparazzi with their camera were waiting in front of the clubs, and start harassing Apl when we got in. We had a VIP treatment and went right in front of the lane, got a table and waitress start pouring us drinks. It was somewhat awkward everyone was staring at us, and I guess the manager of the club kept sending those blond stripper/hookers to talk to Apl. Then all the girls were throwing himself at him while I stayed at a distance and drink. I didn't want to be a part of it. He tried to kiss me all night and I rejected him. But for some reason seeing all those fake girls all over him made me angry. I was still in my work clothes, barely any make up, didn't know I was going to end up at a club. I don't know why, maybe out of pride, but I ended up kissing him. To prove a point that I don't have to be fake to please? I don't really know. 
When we got out of the clubs, the paparazzi were still waiting outside and start harrassing us again. Two people with bundle of roses were trying to sell them to Apl. I got scared and stand in the back with J while he was exposed to all the cameras . In front of all the paparazzi he bought $200 of roses, and gave them to me. I was a little drunk and felt really awkward. I was talking to J and out of nowhere I ended up with a 100 roses in my hands. I never got roses from any guys, and here for my first time, I have more than I can handle, with cameras all over me. I was like "what is that? No I don't want it" and tried to give it back to the lady who sold it to him. By that time Hope had got the car back from the Valet and we all hoped in the car.... Me and J threw all the roses in the back of the car... The next day Jordan told one of her friend, who found a video of us on Gettys. Later on I found one on youtube. Wow how embarassing to watch myself on video, I was so confused and sounded like a kid and I had no idea they zoomed on my face they were all over Apl not me. I could see myself heading for the car, acting like I was so used to it... Really, I was just drunk. 

What a night again. 

Mardi 27 novembre 2012 à 6:20

How ironic.... Yesterday I took the resolution to get away from the celebrity crowd....But when you don't come to celebrities, they come to your work! 
And I can't even talk about it because I have a confidentiality agreement with the firm. I could get sued if I tell anyone, so I didn't even disclosed their identity to my best friend or my mum. All I can tell is that he is a famous actor. A good one too. But also intimidating. I was in the sample room when he walked in for the meeting, and didn't dare introducing myself once the meeting started and barely looked at him even though my desk was in the same room. I never knew it was him because the designers used another alias for the project (we usually put the client's last name). So I have been working on his house since I started working here, and had no clue until today. I got out to get my lunch while they were still in the meeting. I went down to the restaurant at the corner of the street to order some food. While I was waiting outside smoking a cigarette I saw him exiting. He looked around and saw me up the street and stared at me. He made me feel nervous so I turned my head away pretending not to see him. Then slowly got to his Porsche and drove away. 
I mean maybe it was wrong to not introduce myself, but I didn't want to seem like I was a fan or something, especially in front of my boss. And I took precautions to not even enter in contact with him since I seem to be a mess lately. I can't even tell again if I was attracted to him because of his charisma and acting skills or simply because of that odd stare. And I just checked online, he's 45....Yes no we will not be friends, 37 was already enough. '

Speaking of 37 years old, as soon as I got off from work Apl texted me asking me my plans tonight. His messages were spelled normally which I found odd considering the last text I got was "Why.Did u leave me j/k what.R.U.Diong.Later" (which in my mind sounds stupid and takes more time than just spelling it correctly). I think he got offended by my humor when I respond " you're texting like a normal person, is that really u". He wants to go drink at AV or Chacha not that I even know where those places are. I am still debating whether to go or not. Option n2 I could go to phoenix and J calls sam and i call A. Either way it's wrong again.

Lundi 26 novembre 2012 à 12:37

I feel like L.A is changing me. Not in a good way. I'd like to look in the mirror and be proud of who I have become... but it isn't the case. Who am I? True, I am very loose on my morals compare to others, I tend to be spontaneous and do the things I want to do on the moment without thinking through any of my actions. I don't feel like anything I am doing is wrong as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. But what if it is hurting me? Do I want to be constantly ashamed? What happened last night... I kissed a 37 years old dj and could have slept with him. What is wrong with me? Just because he is famous? Did I become this superficial? I always get what I want sometimes I don't even have to make an effort for it, but how is it that everything I want always wrong? Seems to go in pair. And I realized, out of the people that were left at the after party by the time I got there were not interesting. I was pretty sure I was the youngest and I felt like I was with a bunch of kids. So much weed and alcohol everywhere. They were all so high and stupid, I felt like I was still in high school. I read Apl had an eye vision problem, but not a slurring speech, I'll give credits to the drugs. And the eyesight problem seems solved although it stills says on wikipidia that he is blind, but I can assure everyone that he can see. He noticed my lip piercing and could see my phone perfectly, I think he has healed from his condition. Anyways....they're not the right people to be around and no good influence can come out of them. The only thing they could do is pulling me down with them. I felt like the smartest person in the house that night and I don't believe I belong there. It's time to redefine my values and goals. I wish I could move out of LA and come back to Paris with my dad because the city has such a pull on me, it could change me in a matter of months. 

Dimanche 25 novembre 2012 à 21:23 from the Black Eyed Peas djing in his kitchen....

By the time H texted me and got out of my bed to get ready again I got to Apl's house at 4am... Missed Fergie and Will.Iam who were there a little earlier, crap. Ended up ditching H and spending most of my time there with Apl.... I don't even think I can tell my story since those people are no stranger to anyone so it wouldn't be an anonymous diary... RH can you just come back so I can live a normal life and stop getting so high and drunk with those crazy people.

Dimanche 25 novembre 2012 à 12:25

 Since my roomate is sleeping and J doesn't wanna go out I'm going to Apl's house alone for the after party.... Let's see how this is gonna turn out. Hopefully not a bunch of celebrity junkie party....

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