I have been terrible at keeping up with this diary. So much has been going out and I meant to write about it but I never seem to find time for it. And I meant to have a little deeper analysis about what's been happening but I can't seem to find time either. This diary is a complete opposite from the one I wrote before back in High School.


Apl is actually really nice to me which seems to bother me because I can't tell if I like him. He is not my type and he's much older but he really treats me well and I guess he makes me feel special in some way. Girls always throw themselves at him when they see him everywhere we go, and he never flirts with them and always come back to me. He's been inviting me out almost every night even though I have to turn him down couple times and reject him most of the time. And he texted me as soon as came back from the Phillipines and landed at LAX. Cute.

Last night he ask me to come to his friend's birthday party at the Skybar. Once I got inside I found out that his "friend" happened to be Fergie. Paparazzi were all in front of the hotel. I waited outside smoking a cigarette, with Willi.Am right next to me, away from the paparazzi. I could tell he didn't like the medias. It was a private event and Apl sent Hope to go get me and J. Once we got inside, I saw Apl talking to two Asian girls and he turned away from them to speak with me as soon as I got there. He offered me a drink and I asked him about his charity projects in the Phillipines. But we got interrupted by some of his ex manager, walked right in the conversation. I was just standing there and didn't really know what to do. Rude much?J was talking with another guy at the party and I decided to leave Apl and join them. Apl eventually came back next to me. In reality I was bored. No wonder Fergie left her own party so early. All those business people coming up to talk to them to sell themselves it's irritating. So we decided to go to Lure right before it closed. I've never been to Lure. Didn't realize how big it was until I got inside. We got up to the VIP back room that leads to the upper section next to the DJ booth. 

Funny enough, A texted me earlier asking me to come to Lure and I turned him down to go hang out with Apl, and somehow ended up in the same club. We tried to meet but it was so crowded then once I went to the VIP section it was impossible for him to come up. Apl, afsheen, hope and damien got behind the dj (who i realized later on turned out to be super famous dj Fedde le Grand) Jordan and I came after them and security refused to let us with them so we just stood right on the side. Cute thing again, Apl eventually got out of the dj section and came back in the other crowd to stand next to me. The manager then brought us to the room upstairs. That's when I got annoyed and bored. I already thought it was too crazy at the club and it was making me dizzy, but once we got there it was worst. The manager kept introducing Apl to everyone, god it was annoying. Then this girl kept introducing him to everyone as well. Everyone trying to suck up and sell themselves again. Some girl at the table chucked half of a grey goose vodka bottle in front of me and made me nauseous. How disgusting and unsafe. Everyone seems older but acting stupid. That's where we met this guy from London, M, who happened to be the one who signed Fedde to his label. I had no idea at that time but he ended up going to Apl's after party with us.

When we came back to Apl's house, again freak show. Three people showed up and this girl and her cousin from Lure as well. Kept introducing him to other people that works in the music industry, here and there, sucking up again. I got annoyed and sat at the corner of the couch alone. Apl ended up seating next to me again and we talked. Then we went to his bedroom. I was at the wrong time of the month even though he didn't really believe me. I just laid on the bed tucked under the blanket and my arms wrapped around him and we watched tv. Until that stupid asian kid ran right into the room, didn't feel like he was disturbing anything, and kept telling Apl about 50 times that Fedde Le Grand was there. Harrassed him until he went downstairs. Apl asked me to stay in the bed until he came back but I decided to come back downstairs. Good thing I did, because went I saw Fedde I was mesmerized. What an attractive guy. I am so clueless about music that I had no clue who he had to be a big deal because everyone in the room was obsess with him. I went outside to meet up with J and afsheen who were talking to him, and started talking with him too. We talked a little bit in french. Super famous dj, attractive, and super nice. J and I were having a fun talk about language and got interrupted by this asian kid and the dumbass manager from Lure. I don't think anyone can be more rude. They grabbed Fedde's arm to get his attention to say what? That he was at the MANSION playing golf or what not, and that the asian kid ran his ASTON MARTIN back into the wall in front of the valet.... OKAY? so what? you're rich and you need to say it? Fedde tours around the world in his jet, and most of the people at this after party are wealthy so what's the point bragging about it? I could tell Fedde was annoyed. Then the asian kid wouldnt stop interrupting us over and over to harasse Fedde and tell him to come see his music studio and his people. Wow, I have only been in this celebrity world for a month with J and we can act normal around him but this kid can't and is making a fool of himself. I have never seen someone so pathetic. It's probably why Fedde didn't stay for too long and left shortly after. He shook my hand saying "enchante" and hugged J (aah lucky) and took off. 

I didn't know where Apl was and found him passed out in front of the TV in his bed so I decided to leave. But shortly after I came down Damien told me to go upstairs and woke Apl up then told me something like "here you go he's awake" I mean what I am? Here you go, now go sleep with him? Ridiculous. I don't know why but the entire night people were getting in my business. Another guy kept telling me that Apl was a good guy, and we looked really cute together, etc. ? I don't need anyone to tell me who to be with. It got even worst after M kept telling me it wasn't cool that Apl fell asleep at his own party and he would talk to him the next day. Did I ask anyone help to talk to Apl? Wow that was just so annoying I had never experienced that before. I am not his girlfriend and even if I was i'd like people to not get involved especially when they don't know me. 

I have to say talking to Fedde was one of the few moments I enjoyed that party. Other than that people being rude, and sucking up just made me sick. M could see it. He came up to me and said "you look so unimpressed, just standing there elegant and chic". It's like he could read me. He knew I was bored when I saw all those people coming in. He kept telling us that he was so happy to meet us, that he finally met some girls that were LA fake and how cool we were compare to other girls he met.  Me and J are definitely not the prettiest girl they've seen, but we're really down to earth and natural, that's why we keep being invited to those parties regularly. I love LA right now, but those parties seems to be made up of 20% fun interesting successful people and 80 % annoying suck ups. Can't have fun without the inevitable downside of it. 

 
Well that night was very odd. What's really funny is that I was wondering if I should contact A and I ended up running into him at Phoenix with J. N, Sam's roomate, was there and ask him to join him at his table outside, and here he was. He acted so awkwardly and left a few minutes after we sat. 
Allright I guess, I know we haven't called each other since he hooked up at my house, but don't have to act so weird about it. While we were hanging out with the group, apl texted me to go to the bowling alley in Hollywood. Since things were so awkward with the rest of the group, we decided to head for Hollywood and meet him and his friends. Again he was with Damien/Ammo, Half Sheen and Hope, whom I met at the after party last time. He got us shoes so we could play bowling at the same time as getting us drinks and shots. I was really surprised, I never thought he would invite me bowling I expected him to invite me to some fancy bar or some club. That was a nice change from what I have been doing lately and we really had fun. It was nice to have a low key night, although people would stare at us and some would come up to our lane to talk to Apl. I didn't want Apl to think of me as a gold digger so I went to the bar to get some drinks with J and pay for it. The waitress kept insisting on putting the drinks on his tab. The worst is that he didn't even notice that I did it. It was so expensive for us. When our game was done, they decided to take us to a club nearby.
What was originally a low key night turned into a paparazzi night. Two paparazzi with their camera were waiting in front of the clubs, and start harassing Apl when we got in. We had a VIP treatment and went right in front of the lane, got a table and waitress start pouring us drinks. It was somewhat awkward everyone was staring at us, and I guess the manager of the club kept sending those blond stripper/hookers to talk to Apl. Then all the girls were throwing himself at him while I stayed at a distance and drink. I didn't want to be a part of it. He tried to kiss me all night and I rejected him. But for some reason seeing all those fake girls all over him made me angry. I was still in my work clothes, barely any make up, didn't know I was going to end up at a club. I don't know why, maybe out of pride, but I ended up kissing him. To prove a point that I don't have to be fake to please? I don't really know. 
When we got out of the clubs, the paparazzi were still waiting outside and start harrassing us again. Two people with bundle of roses were trying to sell them to Apl. I got scared and stand in the back with J while he was exposed to all the cameras . In front of all the paparazzi he bought $200 of roses, and gave them to me. I was a little drunk and felt really awkward. I was talking to J and out of nowhere I ended up with a 100 roses in my hands. I never got roses from any guys, and here for my first time, I have more than I can handle, with cameras all over me. I was like "what is that? No I don't want it" and tried to give it back to the lady who sold it to him. By that time Hope had got the car back from the Valet and we all hoped in the car.... Me and J threw all the roses in the back of the car... The next day Jordan told one of her friend, who found a video of us on Gettys. Later on I found one on youtube. Wow how embarassing to watch myself on video, I was so confused and sounded like a kid and I had no idea they zoomed on my face they were all over Apl not me. I could see myself heading for the car, acting like I was so used to it... Really, I was just drunk. 

What a night again. 

How ironic.... Yesterday I took the resolution to get away from the celebrity crowd....But when you don't come to celebrities, they come to your work! 
And I can't even talk about it because I have a confidentiality agreement with the firm. I could get sued if I tell anyone, so I didn't even disclosed their identity to my best friend or my mum. All I can tell is that he is a famous actor. A good one too. But also intimidating. I was in the sample room when he walked in for the meeting, and didn't dare introducing myself once the meeting started and barely looked at him even though my desk was in the same room. I never knew it was him because the designers used another alias for the project (we usually put the client's last name). So I have been working on his house since I started working here, and had no clue until today. I got out to get my lunch while they were still in the meeting. I went down to the restaurant at the corner of the street to order some food. While I was waiting outside smoking a cigarette I saw him exiting. He looked around and saw me up the street and stared at me. He made me feel nervous so I turned my head away pretending not to see him. Then slowly got to his Porsche and drove away. 
I mean maybe it was wrong to not introduce myself, but I didn't want to seem like I was a fan or something, especially in front of my boss. And I took precautions to not even enter in contact with him since I seem to be a mess lately. I can't even tell again if I was attracted to him because of his charisma and acting skills or simply because of that odd stare. And I just checked online, he's 45....Yes no we will not be friends, 37 was already enough. '

Speaking of 37 years old, as soon as I got off from work Apl texted me asking me my plans tonight. His messages were spelled normally which I found odd considering the last text I got was "Why.Did u leave me j/k what.R.U.Diong.Later" (which in my mind sounds stupid and takes more time than just spelling it correctly). I think he got offended by my humor when I respond " you're texting like a normal person, is that really u". He wants to go drink at AV or Chacha not that I even know where those places are. I am still debating whether to go or not. Option n2 I could go to phoenix and J calls sam and i call A. Either way it's wrong again.

By the time H texted me and got out of my bed to get ready again I got to Apl's house at 4am... Missed Fergie and Will.Iam who were there a little earlier, crap. Ended up ditching H and spending most of my time there with Apl.... I don't even think I can tell my story since those people are no stranger to anyone so it wouldn't be an anonymous diary... RH can you just come back so I can live a normal life and stop getting so high and drunk with those crazy people.