Diary of a Stranger

Lundi 12 novembre 2012 à 10:01 from my balcony 


And it was a beautiful day in West Hollywood once again. Although the temperature has dropped drastically the last couple of days. 
Last night after hanging out with K and her friend, J and I decided to go to Phoenix, then meet up with Sam at his house afterwards. What a surprise to realize how big it was. A four stories house just for him and his roomate. Modern, clean, beautiful fireplace, large kitchen with stainless steel appliance, a balcony overlooking the city... breathless. So big, that they each have their own floor, and the last one just for the guest. I knew J and Sam were interested in each other, and I was kinda expecting Sam to in exchange introduce me to his other friends. But what we thought was an after party was just him and his roomie. So while J and Sam were seating on one side of the couch flirting with each other, I ended up talking to his 31 years old roomate, hitting on me.

I came on to realizing a couple things this past week.

First, the dynamic of J and I's friendship is very particular. We feel attracted to the same guys, yet there was never any fight about jealousy between us. We could walk in a bar, and she could be talking about one guy in the entire crowd, and I would know who it is. Many times the guys we talk to would be hitting on both of us, but at the end of the night, if we see them leaning more towards one of us, then the other let go. Sometimes she wins, sometimes I do, it's always been about 50/50. And sometimes we both find someone in the same group, just like me and Rh, and her and Juan. I don't think I have that kind of relationship with any other friends, and this is what makes us best friends. So often I hear girls telling me she likes a guy who likes her back, but because her friend likes him then she can't be with him otherwise the friend would get mad. I mean, how ridiculous, it's like high school. Look at the big picture, why keep two people from having fun and being happy just because you like the same guy? Just accept the rejection and let them be and move on. We were both attracted to Sam, and that night she won, and it was perfectly fine. Real friends don't let guys come between their friendship. I am grateful for my friendship, and so glad I moved to L.A to maintain it. I don't know what I would do here without her. 

The second thing I realized was how old we're getting. At 22, the age difference doesn't seem to matter. Yesterday it was his 31 year old roomate hitting on me. Two days ago, we got hit on by lawyers probably around 35 years old, although they wouldn't tell us after we told them our ages.. The lawyer who was talking to J ended up asking me if I would like to go on a date with one of his friends, who is a Chef at the Bazaar, that 5 stars hotel in West Hollywood. My guess...around 30 again? And last Wednesday we hung out with this group of guys in the piano bar, the one I was talking to turned out to be 28, but the one talking to Jordan was 37. Weirdly, here the age difference doesn't seem choking to anyone most of the times. I guess once you finish college, we're all in the same pool. I realized even more today that I was finally becoming a real adult, once I noticed I didn't have enough clothes to wear at my job. I have a closet full of clothes, but none casual elegant. The hipsters years are done. I went shopping last week and today and slowly replacing everything in my closet. And what's even weirder is that I like it, to the point that I wear some of those garments to go to the bars. But when I look in the mirror, I realize how much older I look in these new clothes. How far I've come. I only graduated two months ago. What a drastic change, suddenly I had to become responsible for everything. The car changed at my name, the insurance, finding my own place, filling all the tax forms for job application as an independent, searching for a job, going for interviews, and soon to pay back my student loans. It's been crazy. I had a good time during my 4 years of college, and as nice as it was to not worry about money and being covered by my parents, I don't miss it. I like my new life. My parents are helping me out financially by helping me pay my rent as my pay at the restaurant only suffice to cover my bills and other expenses. But in six months, I am hoping to pay it all by myself, even if I have to have two jobs (or three like J). Twenty two and completely independent, that's the goal and I am slowly heading towards that direction. My parents are really proud of me, and it makes me happy too. 

And the third thing I realized was the lack of social boundaries. We meet lawyers, doctors, music producers, CEO's of some companies etc. All of them are extremely wealthy. But somehow we don't feel uncomfortable around them. Sam has been to my apartment once when A. came to see me. And after seeing his house yesterday, I am glad to see he was still talking to me and wanting to hang out after seeing how crappy and tiny my apartment looked next to his place. The lawyer from the other night wanted to introduce me to his Chef friend, even after knowing I was just an intern in a design firm. I feel like people are in some way, more down to earth than in Paris. Unlike here, I could feel the social gap when I attended the American University of Paris. I was going to school with the most wealthy people I ever met. Drivers, Ferarris, prada, channel clothes, jets, yacht, etc. I could never fit and never felt comfortable around them. Only with the least wealthy ones. But here it's different, they're more approachable and don't look down at you if you don't earn as much money as they do. Nobody is jealous of you or try to bring you down if you become successful. Most of the guys I meet understand that I worked a restaurant to earn money as a start, and doing unpaid internship before having a real job. They know I have to start at the bottom before becoming successful, and it's one of the aspect of L.A that I really appreciate.

So here it goes, the three reflections of the week. 

Dimanche 11 novembre 2012 à 1:35

Who cares about my personal life not being ideal, when my career is starting to take off? The only expression on my face at this moment in time, is a huge smile. I came this morning to work at the office with Ryan. As previously stated, he wanted me to come in for training. What a surprise when he told me that he was really impressed with how quickly I was learning the tasks in the firm, and him and everyone liked me and the energy I was expressing, and that I would be really good fit for the team. I then found out that the person who originally got my job two weeks earlier, had a one week trial with them, and it didn't work out well so they didn't hire him in the end. Which means there is an available position again in the firm. And he wants me to have it. So instead of being an unpaid intern for four weeks, he's giving me a one week trial and will hire me if I do as good of a job as I did the past two days. So to sum up, I would be getting the job that I didn't get when I first apply haha. And he pretty much insinuated that he is almost sure to hire me. Wow. I can't believe this could be happening so fast. I have only been in L.A for six weeks and I might be getting my first real job! And I really love the atmosphere of the office and how friendly they are. First real job, next to my place, and on top of that loving it? What else could I ask for? XD 

happy happy happy. 

Samedi 10 novembre 2012 à 11:53

 This week has been a good one. As everyone knows, Obama won, which I got to learn that night because we were hosting a democratic event in the dining room. Thanks to the east and west coast for saving the face of the USA. That same day I received an email from Ryan, the principal of the firm I interviewed at two weeks ago. The situation, was : I applied to a job to be an assistant designer. My resume got picked out of a hundreds for an interview along with 10 other people. Last weekend I finally got an answer. I didn't get the job. But he wrote me saying he really liked my work, experience and overall personality. But because they were remodeling so many homes they ultimately picked someone with direct construction experience but would keep my resume on file if any position comes and and fit me. So here it was, nothing better I could have done, I just graduated from school. So I replied stating that I understood and was also open for internship position if anything came up. He ask me to call him. And here it was, two days later, I started my internship. I would never imagine this would turn out this way. I sort of panicked the first day, not really knowing what to do. Here's what they gave me the first five minutes. An electrical plan.
But anyways at the end of the day everything was well I got more relaxed. However, being an intern, you have to prove that you are perfect. Therefore, I didn't leave even when Ryan offered me to leave at 5pm, and stayed working until they all leave, at 7pm... Damn that was a long day. 
Second day, things went well as well. I learnt the software for quoting orders and pricing really fast, I think Ryan was impressed. I also start ordering samples for the designers and driving to showrooms. At the end of the day , Ryan told me I was picking up really fast, and he would like me to come tomorrow (SATURDAY) to fully trained me on everything. Good news, that means I'm doing well. Bad news, it's the freaking weekend and I have to wake up in the morning to work for free T_T Oh well, I have to be the best if I want to get hired at the end of the month.... Anyways, at least I love working there, for once. The working environment is very friendly and collaborative, I like small firms, there is no feeling of hierarchy just like in Hong Kong. I get along with everyone and I hope to get hired here, even though I would have rather work for a commercial architecture firm rather than exclusively interior design. 

The other aspects of this week will come later... Sleep time until work tomorrow... 

Mardi 6 novembre 2012 à 8:05

Cam just posted a new song. I like his acoustic version better.  He invited me to his show at the Viper room two weeks ago, wish I went even though I would have to go alone. 
Wish J wasn't so drunk that night and K wasn't all over me, and B not all over my roomate, it would have been nice to hang out again, as friends. 

Mardi 6 novembre 2012 à 5:49

I cleaned my room two days ago, looking for my voting card. Couple hours later, I found it. Wrong card, it's my North Carolina Voting card. For some reason, I thought my mum sent me my absentee ballot. I checked online and the deadline for the absentee ballot was at the beginning of October.... Failed. I will not vote once again.... Sorry Obama, I will be there in spirit. Damn, second time I miss voting. Every time I'm in the wrong country or the wrong state. Well, I moved to California for a reason, this state usually remains liberal no matter what. And if things get bad, I will just go back to Europe, thanks to dual citizenship. 
Bad citizen, I know. Truth is, I only started to really pay attention to the presidential campaign after the first debate. Because this campaign was charged in so much negative ads that I couldn't take it. Spending millions trashing each other. In my mind, they both lost their integrity. 

Cote Privee 
We met downtown with the Spanish crew. We went to Mas Malo, this Mexican restaurant that a friend recommended me. 
J, S, and I started off with drinks before they arrived. I ate a bit at home before coming there, so I could invest my money on Margaritas rather than food. 
S studied in Mexico, so her speaking Spanish came in handy. First time we meet them when they are all sober. After diner, we all went back to my apartment, except I, who was sleeping at a "friend". We talked a bit, and S and I set up the sofas and beds for them in the living room, as two of them were leaving at 5am to go to the airport. RH slept with me of course. We talked for a while, about everything, enough to realized we were quite different. I was suppose to meet him at the airport after lunch with his classmates. But in the morning, the plan changed. He told me he had to buy some duty free products for his sister and would probably not have time to meet with me. we have one hour left together. We walked down Melrose Ave so I could get my coffee and take a walk together before he leave. He was in such a rush that we only had time to go back and forth without having any time to seat and relax. 
After he left, I uploaded the picture we took together. When he got online, he asked me to take them down. So....are you ashamed of me?

Apparently it was all about the hand, he didn't want his family to think strange things...What do you mean strange? 
So I erased all of them. There, it's like I never existed I said. But he wanted me to put back the picture we took of the two of us this morning. I mean, for me, we look more like a couple on the second picture than we do on the first, since I am posing with two other guys, one also wrapped his hand around my leg. I got really frustrated. These pictures look compromising, but all the hundreds of pictures with him and other girls with your hands wrapped around them are not? Bullshit. I called him out on that, yes it finally came out. He looks like a player to me on all those pictures no matter how shy he pretend to be. I really tried not to think about it, because facebook is facebook, and is always misleading. Suddenly I felt stupid. I let my guard down and trusted someone. So I got cold on him. He said they were just friends, but I told him I didn't like people being ashamed of me. Then said: 
" I really have a good night with u, and a good morning...i'm sad of say good bye to you... I really want that u can visit me one day...I will miss you" 
I might be a bitch but I am unable to lie so my answer? " Are you at the airport?" Yes when I don't want to answer anything, I just talk about something else. I was trying to show that I wasn't mad, but I couldn't pretend that I missed him. I was angry and I just wanted to move on. Because this is how my mind process after my multiple awful experiences. I don't get angry or jealous for long, my feelings just turn off immediately and I get cold. And I move on to another guy. I mean come on, you might as well be honest now, you're leaving, you don't have to pretend you miss me. 
He wanted me to upload the picture of the two of us again, but I didn't. True, you made a good point, I don't want anyone thinking that I am seeing anyone when I am single and available. It's not like it was going anywhere anyway, so he shouldn't pretend to be sad. Why would I go visit Spain if a little picture of us is already making you uncomfortable. So what if we run into your family in Madrid? What would you say, should I hide somewhere? No I won't spend my money for you. If he had stayed here it wouldn't even have worked out, because I wouldn't be able to trust him. 
The only thing he left me with is his fever. 

End of the story. Let's move on. 

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