Diary of a Stranger

Lundi 26 novembre 2012 à 12:37

I feel like L.A is changing me. Not in a good way. I'd like to look in the mirror and be proud of who I have become... but it isn't the case. Who am I? True, I am very loose on my morals compare to others, I tend to be spontaneous and do the things I want to do on the moment without thinking through any of my actions. I don't feel like anything I am doing is wrong as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. But what if it is hurting me? Do I want to be constantly ashamed? What happened last night... I kissed a 37 years old dj and could have slept with him. What is wrong with me? Just because he is famous? Did I become this superficial? I always get what I want sometimes I don't even have to make an effort for it, but how is it that everything I want always wrong? Seems to go in pair. And I realized, out of the people that were left at the after party by the time I got there were not interesting. I was pretty sure I was the youngest and I felt like I was with a bunch of kids. So much weed and alcohol everywhere. They were all so high and stupid, I felt like I was still in high school. I read Apl had an eye vision problem, but not a slurring speech, I'll give credits to the drugs. And the eyesight problem seems solved although it stills says on wikipidia that he is blind, but I can assure everyone that he can see. He noticed my lip piercing and could see my phone perfectly, I think he has healed from his condition. Anyways....they're not the right people to be around and no good influence can come out of them. The only thing they could do is pulling me down with them. I felt like the smartest person in the house that night and I don't believe I belong there. It's time to redefine my values and goals. I wish I could move out of LA and come back to Paris with my dad because the city has such a pull on me, it could change me in a matter of months. 

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