Diary of a Stranger

Lundi 8 juillet 2013 à 4:57

  My brother is convinced I have the syndrome of "the grass is always green on the other side". Well it might be true, but should anyone settle for what they have when they know they could be doing better? Isn't being curious and questioning your life human? I actually think I'm starting to pin point the problem. I think I am scared that living in Los Angeles will change me. I didn't want to become materialistic but look around me everyday: there is as many Porsche and Mercedes than there is Toyota and Honda if not more. I design for clients who would spend 1.5 million dollars just to furnish their houses. Most of the houses we design range from 2 to 40 million dollars. My boss had to design this box for his client's watches and shipped them from San Francisco to Los Angeles. Guess how much the insurance was on them? $100,000 for 6 watches. His cars are worth 1 million. Is this even real? When I draw the floor plans of our clients house they have sauna, cinema rooms, maids room (which by the way are pretty fancy for maids) guest house infinity pools. Unbelievable. Stay long enough in this environment you start wanting the same thing. 

I remember thinking the opposite when a friend I met during my stay in Beijing and I decided to go backpack in Yunnan China during our break. We stayed in charming towns such as Lijiang or Shangri-La. We also hiked the Tiger Leaping Gorge which was one of the most beautiful hikes I have done. During our trip we met this French family, a women with her son and her boyfriend. They saved up and decided to go travel around for two years staying mostly in hostels here and there. They took the Transsiberia train from Russia and stopped in Mongolia. There they bought camping equipment, two horses and camp there for two months.  During rough weather a nomadic group took them in and  the french kid played with the other nomadic children. How crazy the bond you can make with a culture so different from yours and people who don't even speak the same language. The french woman showed us picture it looked amazing what a priceless experience. They were next heading to Thailand and Vietnam. I remember when we were in Shangri La, we went to a local bar and some local Tibetans invited us to their table and offered us drinks and were so welcoming even though I could not understand a thing they were saying. Those are the experience that no money can never buy. I remember thinking : why would anyone want to live in a metropol, get a mondane job do the same thing everyday when they could experience something like this? Sure this french family was traveling on a small budget, but I felt like it was much more fulfilling to be able to bond with locals than to travel in a five start hotel visiting touristic sites.
The lovely town of Lijiang, China
How can one mind change so quickly from one year to the next? You tell me if I am crazy or not, possibly. One's environment can be a strong influence.  I just feel like staying in LA deteriorates my previous values. Becoming obsess with success, wealth and look. 
Also the major problem I have is making new friendships. It has been so difficult. And very sad since ever S moved back. I had the perfect roommate and perfect trio with J and S. But other than that I have made no real friendship. Mostly people pretending to be your friends and flanking on you or ditching you whenever. I don't do one way friendship. I don't feel it so much except this weekend, I have done absolutely nothing because J left town and Cris is in camp somewhere in the desert and I only get one call from a satellite phone once a night. 
I have been ditched by supposedly friend from college. What can I say I don't even wanna keep trying after I get ditched like that or get unanswered text. But what a sad 4th of July weekend. Makes me realized how many friends I don't have. Which is odd, because I have always been very social and make friends wherever I go because I moved so much. Only took me 6 weeks to make good friends in Beijing and four months in Hong Kong. Even made friends for the two days I went to Shanghai. Got great friends from college and my friends in Paris are still my close friend I still keep in touch with. 
So what's wrong here. 
I am not depressed and miserable with my life, but I think it's worth questioning it. Am I crazy for having my values switching from on year to the next? Possible. If I stay here, five years from now will I become that typical materialistic money driven person from LA? 

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