Diary of a Stranger

Lundi 22 octobre 2012 à 13:33


Yesterday I should have been happy. I got a call from one of the interior design firm I emailed, I have to come in for an interview this upcoming Wednesday. Hopefully that will go well. 

I worked again at the restaurant yesterday. I brought my computer and was working in the office on researching and designing brochures for them. This office is the worst office I have ever seen, especially from an interior designer point of view. I will admit it, I didn't find myself to be very useful, my creativity doesn't flow when working in a crappy environment. 

Another girl was hosting that day so I could work in the office most of my shift. Except she kept missing some calls so I was picking them up from the office. Well one of them I wish I never picked. It was the owner, which I was completely clueless of who he was. He yelled at me saying I didn't introduce myself properly saying " N. Restaurant, how may I help you", when I should have said "Thank you for calling N restaurant and Lounge, this is C, how may I assist you" and yelled at my manager friend F about my incompetence.... I felt so bad. I thought he would get fired or I would get fired.

Seeing the expression on my face, F. kept reassuring me that it was okay. I think what makes me really guilty is that I know that one of the hostess I was working with and was training me is about to get fired. And I know she is more competent than me, at least right now. So I am scared other employees will be mad that F. keep me and will think it's because I am friends with me, not because I am good at my job... And maybe it's true. 

My networking has always went down the drain. Because most of the time it's guys. I met this teacher from a really prestigious Architecture school that I always dreamed to go, wAhen I was asking direction to the taxi in Hong Kong. He was now teaching in HK and owned his own architecture firm there. Well he gave me his business card and he wanted to meet me again and show me his work and all. I was really excited. Well turn out he kept calling me to have dinner or at 10pm to have drinks, and I felt awkward. I am half your age, I just want to see your work and how you're designing, not get a drink late at night with you. 

So that didn't really work out. 

Then there was D. Well, that I guess it was my fault, I made the mistakes of hooking up with him in the back of his car in San Diego when I was 19. Then he went from that interesting person to that disgusting guy completely obsess with having sex with me and kept saying how it was the best one ever...yeah i was drunk and no I don't remember that being as awesome as he said.

Anyways, he lives in L.A now. And when he talked to me again on chat he was back to being that interesting friend I used to know so I  agree to meet him. He just sold his script to a big film company and will be directing it sometime this year. I know he's about to be a famous film director. He said he worked with Bravo and could introduce me to that interior design guy on this TV show and I could work with him. Except of course, I found out he hasn't changed, and still wanted to sleep with me. How far am I suppose to go to get a job, really? Sleeping with him to lend on a TV show? That would be some form of prostitution to me. 

It's been two weeks I haven't called him back, and not really planning to do so. 

Then yes, I ended up taking the restaurant job that F offered me. I am his assistant, the graphic designer, the hostess, and the decorator. I thought it was a good job until yesterday. On top of being yelled at and feeling the pressure. It's not just that. I realized he probably hired me because he was interested in me. I know the other employees keep bitching about him. And I know he doesn't treat them the same way he treats other employees. We gave me half of his subway during lunch and then invited me to go get diner with him during my shift and he paid for it. Two days ago he asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said no. What kind of guy ask that unless they're interesting. Then during the diner, he asked me "so when are you gonna invite me to your apartment?" I wasn't sure what he meant.... No wonder his girlfriend, the sort of knock off version of Kim Kardashian, hates me. I would probably hate me too. With being yelled at, and the way he acted, everything made me so uncomfortable, so when he asked me if I wanted the weekend off, I gladly accepted. I need some time off from all this craziness.

I am sad.I grew up with guys and have always got along more with guys than girls. But with that and my previous college experience I understand now that you cannot have guy friends unless they are gay. And maybe it was a good think that I studied interior design, even though I hate this all girly environment, at least this kind of situation will not happened so often in my field...

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