CC, whose parents are already famous in France for their amazing documentary, is following their steps. She just submitted her bumper for the upcoming film festival, amazing work as always and already had some of her work aired on Discovery Channel.

One of my best guy friends, K, won the architecture awards in my school, along with his best friend then he went on to Harvard for summer. I miss his best friend. We always liked each other, but he had history with one of my friend and I could never do that to her. It was like that story that could never be. He went to Harvard for his master, tried to convince me to move to Boston this summer, but I moved to the west coast and he slowly stopped talking to me, which I expected to happen. 

My ex best guy friend was also the most talented furniture designer I have ever seen. 

JH, already had his work on our school book, and work freelance with many people, is also going to become a promising illustrator along with M.B. E is also an amazing photographer, already noticed by some really renowned photographers when she had her portfolio reviewed, and now has her own studio in Paris. 

DH is doing his master in Architecture while already having his own firm.... 

And my group of industrial design friends all happened to be the best of their class too... 

I also got along with my architectural history professor, ended up having a one hour long conversation about everything, from the economy, finance, to architecture one day. He is one of the smartest and knowledgeable individual I ever met, earning his Phd at M.I.T, teaching one of my favorite class. 

I also knew this other talented teacher. He was the closest friend I had last summer when I was abroad. We liked each other but nothing never happened. Not that I wanted anything, he had a girlfriend. 

Then as previously mentioned there was DD. and then that professor from one of the most prestigious architecture school who i met in HK. 

And my two closest friend from my first school in Paris. M, whom I shared my politic class with, was a straight A student, who didn't even have to put that much effort, and was offered a full scholarship to our school. She turned it down and went back to Sweden, and double majored statistics and politics. And M, who was one of the first people I met at that school, now 22 and in NYU, at her second and last year of master, already working for the US Court and getting all those internships in the government....While all I earned was a B.F.A in interior design....

My point being.... What is it that I am always around people like them? 

I thought it was always the pressure of the family that made my self esteem so bad. 

With a grandfather general of the South Vietnamese Army, a grandmother who educated herself, became a famous lawyer and sign the Vietnamese Peace Treaty, and the rest of the family going from refugee camps to becoming successful individuals, all of them becoming successful, one even millionaire. And a brother whom at my age went to Vietnam to work in a hospital, and formed his own association, finding lawyer, teachers, and partners to get this thing going,  which is now going to be reviewed by the World's organization. On top of that he is attending medical school. 

But it's also my friends. I feel so stupid next to them. I have disappointed half of my teachers, going from straight As up until midterm, and always sinking when finals hit and ending up with a B. It hurts my eyes to look at my own projects when I work on my portfolio. 

They are all doing so well, while I still have no clue what I am really doing with my life. 

What is it that makes them confide in me and become my friends. I don't know what is it that makes those successful men care about me either. I feel like 5 years from now, they will all become renowned and successful people, and I will probably be lagging behind. 

Then maybe they will realize that they shouldn't have anything to do with me.. 

Why is it that every time one of my friends get recognition, I feel happy for them but but feel worst about myself? 

....

I know my roomate hates him (considering he is her ex roomate and it didn't go well at all), and doesn't trust him, but so far he did kept his word and offer me a job. He also said he would take me out sometimes so I could meet more people, considering I don't have many friends in L.A and find me an interior design job. We'll see. I am still applying until then.  

Yesterday, my roomate brought her friend who is also the person training her at the hotel she is working at. She knows everyone in L.A and offer to go to this famous Japanese restaurant Katana, and introduce me to the owner/manager and ask them if he can hire me. Also my roomate gave me a list of all those nice restaurant in West Hollywood that I could call to see if they hire. So I have been debating whether or not to work at F's restaurant. Networking and money might be a little better in those other restaurant. But again, it's always talk and I needed something immediately since my mum is only going to pay for rent next month but not anything else, and F was the first one to proposed so I went along. 

Anyways, it was an okay day, the only fun part of the day was to see Troian Bellisario aka Spencer Hastings from Pretty Little Liars, walking by, starring at me, then saying how she's never been inside and how cool the bar looks like, then kept walking with her friend. I never imagine her as a hipster it's funny. She looks so laid back and nice, not one of those snobby Hollywood actors. Last time, I saw BJ Novak jogging while walking to Runyon Canyon with J. It happens so often here, I'm still not used to this whole Hollywood thing.